Paris Burning: Part XI

Paris Burning: Flight is Freedom

Part XI

(Paris) The night went past when they should have shut it down and gone to bed; but the hours they kept now were like a family at a hospital death-watch. When it would end, they couldn't discern. Gathering together, sifting through the rubble, they hashed out details already known.

During their zig-zagged walk, holding each other's warm hand, gripping like a lifeline but also staring each other down, they discussed her leaving Paris, returning to America. Wine-stained lips expressed to the other how a split would rip them down the middle, or justifying it in the first place. 

Gabriel said, “We don’t split up as easily as you do…” Charlotte confessed, “my ancestors have been doing it for three generations. My dad, his sister, my sister, the uncles, hell. It’s a family tradition.”

“Maybe we can’t love,” she said. “But that’s so sad,” Gabriel replied.

They were different. Too young to realize that where they were unlike, or dissimilar, was where they fit together like puzzle pieces. Their families had contrasting ways of altering, unfamiliar methods of executing conflict. With immature priorities, too selfish right now to see how their unusual relationship might bind them for another chapter; instead, they came apart. 

“Work. We work. That’s for damn sure. We work!” “I’ll go back, and go to work. Study, make money, practice law, maybe some art. Gabriel, maybe I’ll be happy?” Wistful tears gently rolled out of her blue eyes.

Forlorn, he pleaded: “My heart is yours, Charlotte; it’s softer than yours, I couldn’t make the decision you’re making. It is not part of my soul.”

Most of the serious regret wouldn’t surface for decades; doubt planted like a small tree that would grow into a giant oak. Their special enchantment was more substantial and profound than their notion of love at this point in their lives, they were blind to it. And experimenting with this sort of ardor was reckless, presumptuous, like fooling around with hard drugs.

Charlotte: “I know Gabriel, I feel like I’m forfeiting mi âme doing this.” “Do you realize that? I don’t want to defend myself—I’m trying to define myself…”

Gabriel: “But if you give up your soul how will you make art?” She answered, but it was empty, “I’ll have to figure that one out.” She couldn’t speak to how long that would take.

I’m so fâché Charlotte! 

She replied, “Don’t riot, you’re not a tax protester—you’ve got no yellow vest.”

“Maybe I should leave Paris too.” “But where would I go?” “I’m a Frenchman!” They were exhausted and broken, and it was late; but neither of them were petty or belittling. The rioting comment was flippant, she didn’t expect him to compare her nature to the hurricanes back in Houston.

Smoke wafted through the air, sirens screamed in the night, and the CaféSociety changed forever. A peaceful summer they knew along the Seine dissolved into a cold, crisp, dark, winter of discontent. The city, like their relationship, simmered and popped with tension; she was determined by her will, and he was disillusioned by his love. She seemed practically gone, and he lost focus on art because of the vacuum developing in his heart. Paris crumbled before their eyes, and his dreams were now blurred, abstract, and vacuous. He went looking for a pencil.

There were “spaces” in his life, gaps in the story—white canvas, ready to be painted, or in reality blank for a reason. But why? What happened during those gaps? How many white pages can there be between episodes? He questioned himself, meditating on summer’s calm, anxious about next year. He longed for the stillness, the peace, but he felt the isolation, the loneliness, approaching, crouching at the door. Could he start another chapter without Charlotte? How would he fill the gap? He looked to the white; he could see the patterns of the Gods. Sharpening his pencil and going to work; he looked to the white.

(end)

-30-

Fibonacci Sequence

2018©fiction by Mark H. Pillsbury

[this last video talisman is dedicated to the real Gabriel & Charlotte, from Bruce & Bonnie:

https://youtu.be/ZTIu4UbkK94 all these short chapters are read together to say this...]

(Fair use of copyrighted work shown herein above is not an infringement of copyright law, 17 USC  Sec.107)

Part VIII - Vulnérabilité

Paris Stories (continued) -- Part VIII

They spent the late morning together, drinking delicious coffee at one of their favorite cafés.

Auburn hues, and bold aromas drifted down avenues—fragrance wafting in the city air. Life’s rhythm slowed down in such moments; they would think back later and realize the magic of love sets aside time like an invisible hand.

By midday the streets of the arrondissement bustled with weekend activity.

Separate Paris lives bumped into one another, in close proximity but with uniqueness; like red-blood cells coursing through the body’s arteries. 

City dwellers’ living kinship, the concord of the masses: coexisting diversity, common values, the momentum of time, and a collaborative friendliness pervaded most of the neighborhoods along the Seine, at least those frequented by artists.

“I’m peaceful right now, Char.” “It’s hard to put to words, but exploration has exploded my creative boundaries.” They were long on both intimacy and communication, a powerful duo.

“Tell me how, Gabriel,” smiling, waiting expectantly for his answer.

“Its heart is energy,” he told her, “from my center, creativity hisses like a volcano; the earth’s about to crack open.” He continued, “there’s definitely a pressure building,” “It’s a mysterious force.”

Gabriel continued, “when I feel most accomplished, besides when I’m with you; is when the creative explosion erupts but I can still grab hold of it, use it!”

She loved his explanations, because she was pretty sure the wheels in his beautiful mind always spun.

“I didn't know the power of my thoughts; what to do with them?”

“I knew I was different but by secondary school, my classmates let me know for sure!” (winking)

“I miss Middle School,” deadpanned Charlotte.

She added, “Like I miss having Poison Ivy.”

He barked, “being different in secondary school… like being sent to the gulag—you’re labeled… doomed!” "Condamné."

“The hidden fruit finally came to the forefront, didn’t it?” Charlotte said.

“Thank God,” he replied.

Charlotte said, ironically, “I’m not trying to conform anymore, myself.”

“I want to be different, but I’m not sure making a living is something I should ignore,” Charlotte confided, “but if I devote all my time & energy to a law practice, there won’t be anything left for myself, for my art?”

Charlotte concluded, “Working in the law won’t give me the buzz that expressing myself does, artistically.”

Gabriel said, “Stimulus doesn’t pay the bills, Charlotte;” showing, maybe a firmer understanding of economics than she gave him credit for?

“But legal expression isn’t the same,” she concluded, “As a lawyer you have to say what your client wants you to say, or what they need you to say.” “And you have to fight for causes you don’t believe in!”

“The worst is when you know your client is lying to you.” He could tell she was agitated.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Char,”

[Did Gabriel mean that he had a better grip on the art business than she did?]

He believed Charlotte’s work as an amateur laid the groundwork for a long career as a professional artist. 

“You’ve got the self-control,” continuing, “You’ll know when it’s time to quit Lawyering; the art will meet the artist, when the writer is ready.”

“Keep exploring, Char, and drink from the waters of creativity,” Gabriel seemed confident. “You’re on the right path, I'm sure of it.”

“I just read Ayn Rand, she said that art is… 'a selective re-creation of reality, according to the artist’s metaphysical value judgments'.” “Isn’t that cool?” she said. This might be where Gabriel's English language skills broke down?

“The purpose of art is to exhibit and concretely make known, the artist’s fundamental view of existence,” “which I think is so evident in your drawings, Gabriel.” He was flattered, but also flummoxed.

Charlotte: “So, the metaphysics of your designs are made within the principles of mathematics, geometry, and uniformity. The black-and-white is obvious when you look at your art; but at the same time, the art is independent of the world’s measurements and reflects your own knowledge, beliefs, feelings, and desires of how the world should be.” Gabriel was completely focused; transfixed by this brilliant woman.

Image 2018 ©Charles Crumb via Facebook

“Maybe I know more than the casual observer, but to me drawing's a means of survival,” “a way to make sense of the world, your life, how you think things should be. That which is internal still makes its way onto the canvas!” After saying so much, she was physically spent—out of breath.

Gabriel just stared at her. He didn’t know what to say. 

Most Frenchmen weren't as sapiosexual as he was at the moment.

But this vulnerability exposed him to great danger.

He felt like his skin was transparent, and she was gazing right inside: into his beating heart. 

"My art is my own language, Char; it's unconventional, but on its face it looks systematic, I know. It's learned from an apprentissage of my own mind; and a long period of experimenting, or doodling as you call it in English."

Gabriel proudly finished his speech:  "I don't know if it's capital-A art; but it's neither a sob story, nor a confidential whisper. You're correct, Charlotte, my art is a translation of my personal life into visual terms. As weird as that looks."

Image 2018 ©Charles Crumb via Facebook

(Fair use of copyrighted work shown herein above is not an infringement of copyright law, 17 USC  Sec.107)

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The video I'm posting to celebrate Part VIII is one of the sweetest love songs I've ever heard, slow dance: #TupeloHoney

https://youtu.be/3DbTIKHYwog

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Fiction ©Mark H. Pillsbury

Legal disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.