One Step Up and Two Steps Back

One Step Up -- And Two Steps Back :

Progress is Perfection

“When I look at myself I don't see, The man I wanted to be. Somewhere along the line I slipped off track, I'm caught movin' one step up and two steps back”

The apostle Paul says, "let us rejoice in the hope of God’s glory, not ours. Additionally, we must also rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that our current hardship produces patient endurance. In endurance, proven character is developed, and in this character, hope and a confident assurance of our salvation results." This brings us back to God’s glory. It’s a holy progression.

To quote Springsteen: “When I look at myself, I don't see, the man I wanted to be. Somewhere along the line I slipped off track. I'm moving one step up and two steps back." Don’t we spend our whole lives trying to move up a notch? To "get ahead"?

Progress is measured in so many different ways, but our tendency is to focus always on the goal: the quota, the grade, the sale, the child, the bonus, the end-zone, the accomplishment. The question is whether we can adjust our internal "success-meter" to focus on the great amount of progress made in learning, growing, changing, and adjusting to the inevitable ups and downs of life; instead of comparing and despairing in the futile illusion of being perfect, or reaching the “Goal”. Truth is, progress is perfection.

Instead of calculating our net worth, or assessing our self-righteousness on a lofty standard, could it be possible that God blesses us with adversity, teaches us through hardship, and honors our work of survival and resiliency? In light of eternity, earthly triumphs do not seem so valuable, and seeking perfection becomes narcissistic. Are these truths passed down to our children, or do parents constantly strive to protect them? What seems natural could actually be holding them back.

Paul also wrote that God wants us to focus on spiritual matters and rejoice in our suffering; even though we spend a lifetime seeking comfort. God promises that anyone who does what pleases Him will live forever; but we say that money isn’t everything – it’s the only thing. Man seeks pleasure, while God gives wisdom (through adversity).

Spiritual currency can be spent throughout eternity, but our earthly bank accounts are devaluing quickly. If we are broken, dependent, obedient followers of Jesus, our trials are heavenly blessings, because they cause us to draw near to Him. A christian must value Christ's sacrifice, and God's word more than their own timetable of priorities, but this is difficult. 

Otherwise, our comfort, wealth, and ease of living pushes us away from a Godly life, into a habit of choosing things, or following people outside of God’s will. It’s counter-intuitive but clearly biblical, that we are most fulfilled when we empty ourselves. (see Philippians 3: 7-8, and Mark 9:35)

God wants us close to him, in a relationship. Sometimes he uses discipline to open our eyes, recognize our weakness, and turn to Him for help. We can be following the wrong leaders, or accepting a counterfeit agenda as we navigate through our lives, so what do we do? It's one-step-at-a-time: first recognize the need, then accept the solution which is outside of ourselves, and then take up the vision (cross) of God, and follow.

We think He approaches with a warrant for our arrest, but God is serving us with an invitation to a massive party, celebrating His glory alone and not the world. Accepting this also requires we re-focus, re-calibrate, re-define progress, and re-frame setbacks as opportunities. ##

Blog post ©Mark H. Pillsbury

Didn't We Almost Have It All, by Whitney Houston

Didn't We Almost Have It All

“Every last one, Patrice!”

“I can’t have grey hair and sing on the Grammys®,” she said vainly.

The pungent scent of alcohol filled the air around the stylist chair, but Patrice worked on Shelby even though disgusted with her. Sometimes Shelby would rummage around in her over-sized drawstring hobo purse, extracting various bottles of potent medications such as Valium and Xanax, popping them like vitamins.

Watching the precipitous slide into destruction was sad, but how often does a hairdresser get to work on “The Voice?” It had been ten years now; she would call and come down with her dwindling entourage to this crumbling L.A. neighborhood which strangely reflected Shelby Austin; it too had seen better days.

“Girl, I don’t know how I am going to sing on Sunday night,” Shelby said. “I'm not the force I used to be, getting old is such a bitch!” “Do what you gotta do, Patrice; and so will I?!” Ironically, Patrice assumed what she meant was they both relied on chemicals to disguise the truth about this superstar.

Shelby followed fame’s path where it inevitably leads when you become what you worship. Worldly things she pursued were not to blame, not even her former husband Gerri Green, who turned her onto the lifestyle that had ravaged her talent and beauty. Shelby’s demise was her own fault. It was a heart issue, and Shelby had done it to herself. When you gaze in awe, admiration, and wonder at something, or someone, you begin to take on something of the character of the object of your worship. (N. T. Wright)

In her heart, the idols ultimately disappointed her, and far from being obedient to the God of her youth, she clung to youth itself, as Patrice knew firsthand.

Past glory could not hold the weight of Shelby’s expectations. Her pursuit of the way it used to be: the look, the voice, the man, the parties, the fame, all that went with selling 200 million records; she was sure that the outcome would have, should have, been different than it turned out to be.

She was a celebrity of the highest order with all the accoutrements, and an equal amount of delusion. Shelby made lifestyle choices, formed alliances with people, and exploited connections which did not work out best for her career. At the same time her production did not keep up with her expenses, and the harsh reality was that she was so broke she would have to save up to be poor. Patrice only took cash.

The facts were clear, she was “washed-up” and wrung out; Shelby Austin was a shell of her former self, which was one of the biggest pop icons that the 80s and 90s ever produced.

Now, an addict, a burden, bitter about her divorce, her descent, and subconsciously bitter about her dereliction of the greatest singing talent that God ever gave to a woman born in the 1960s, Shelby was suffering. However, real suffering is not the same as sadness over lost expectations. Shelby was a victim of many things, but most of all she was a victim of her own attempts to cure herself of lost youth.

“Those who worship money become, eventually, human calculating machines,” said N. T Wright, “Those who worship power become more ruthless.” Ultimately, starlets who worship their younger success become zombies walking through a drugged reenactment of yesteryear. Anna-Nicole Smith had none of the talent of Shelby Austin, Amy Winehouse was a good singer but not like Shelby was good, and Heath Ledger was a pretty-boy but not as beautiful. She had it all, and when her music came on, people got up to dance.

Patrice did the best she could.

©Mark H. Pillsbury
[part I of a fictional series]