One Step Up and Two Steps Back

One Step Up -- And Two Steps Back :

Progress is Perfection

“When I look at myself I don't see, The man I wanted to be. Somewhere along the line I slipped off track, I'm caught movin' one step up and two steps back”

The apostle Paul says, "let us rejoice in the hope of God’s glory, not ours. Additionally, we must also rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that our current hardship produces patient endurance. In endurance, proven character is developed, and in this character, hope and a confident assurance of our salvation results." This brings us back to God’s glory. It’s a holy progression.

To quote Springsteen: “When I look at myself, I don't see, the man I wanted to be. Somewhere along the line I slipped off track. I'm moving one step up and two steps back." Don’t we spend our whole lives trying to move up a notch? To "get ahead"?

Progress is measured in so many different ways, but our tendency is to focus always on the goal: the quota, the grade, the sale, the child, the bonus, the end-zone, the accomplishment. The question is whether we can adjust our internal "success-meter" to focus on the great amount of progress made in learning, growing, changing, and adjusting to the inevitable ups and downs of life; instead of comparing and despairing in the futile illusion of being perfect, or reaching the “Goal”. Truth is, progress is perfection.

Instead of calculating our net worth, or assessing our self-righteousness on a lofty standard, could it be possible that God blesses us with adversity, teaches us through hardship, and honors our work of survival and resiliency? In light of eternity, earthly triumphs do not seem so valuable, and seeking perfection becomes narcissistic. Are these truths passed down to our children, or do parents constantly strive to protect them? What seems natural could actually be holding them back.

Paul also wrote that God wants us to focus on spiritual matters and rejoice in our suffering; even though we spend a lifetime seeking comfort. God promises that anyone who does what pleases Him will live forever; but we say that money isn’t everything – it’s the only thing. Man seeks pleasure, while God gives wisdom (through adversity).

Spiritual currency can be spent throughout eternity, but our earthly bank accounts are devaluing quickly. If we are broken, dependent, obedient followers of Jesus, our trials are heavenly blessings, because they cause us to draw near to Him. A christian must value Christ's sacrifice, and God's word more than their own timetable of priorities, but this is difficult. 

Otherwise, our comfort, wealth, and ease of living pushes us away from a Godly life, into a habit of choosing things, or following people outside of God’s will. It’s counter-intuitive but clearly biblical, that we are most fulfilled when we empty ourselves. (see Philippians 3: 7-8, and Mark 9:35)

God wants us close to him, in a relationship. Sometimes he uses discipline to open our eyes, recognize our weakness, and turn to Him for help. We can be following the wrong leaders, or accepting a counterfeit agenda as we navigate through our lives, so what do we do? It's one-step-at-a-time: first recognize the need, then accept the solution which is outside of ourselves, and then take up the vision (cross) of God, and follow.

We think He approaches with a warrant for our arrest, but God is serving us with an invitation to a massive party, celebrating His glory alone and not the world. Accepting this also requires we re-focus, re-calibrate, re-define progress, and re-frame setbacks as opportunities. ##

Blog post ©Mark H. Pillsbury

Fast and Cool

What really matters... You gotta be cool... 

Three years ago (3/31/2015 -- "Up and Down the Dial"), I posted about the #SiriusXM satellite "highway"—taken each night; sometimes holding my sanity together on the parking lot known as Houston traffic, descending like a femoral artery into downtown.

The alchemy of memories and music transports me back on a tightrope time-machine to a place when we were all pretty "kewl", if I can say so myself. “Fast and Cool” as in the club, or Fast Times at Ridgemont High, for movie buffs.

Maybe a long time ago, but I remember when we were buff and the feathered haircuts fell just right on starched oxford button-downs. The girls all dressed for each other, and the wild night was calling. There was a time, back in my prime, when your old-man could really lay it down; but we didn’t rely on Instagram or Facebook to show everybody. It was sealed in our memories.

The music, tasting the rum, giving or getting all the jokes; ok, crank up the car stereo, and take off. The feel of a slow-dance with that girl you like… in the end, there's only the dance. How did the years go by so fast but the memories play back so slow? The smell of a ski boat's exhaust, a bonfire; I can hear the roar of the crowd, or the whisper in the ear. Youthful discovery is like electricity, but the assurance of wisdom is comforting. Life’s a balance in every decade. Maybe my pendulum needs to swing back to happiness; time flies whether you’re having fun or not.

It could be the passing of an old friend recently, or the end of a long week sending me on this journey, but my “trigger” is often just the right song, which takes me to the file cabinet in my head: pulling out the right disk from the right decade. We manually take it out of the sleeve and place it on the record player, crackling and hissing with expectation. Easter is the season of passage from death to life. The memories linger tonight in the “bardo” or in-between: I don't try to reconcile the past, but I do go back.

Without a physical photographic record on social media, how do I prove our youth? We were from all over the state, and the world was much more laid back. Somehow we had enough money to pool our resources as a group; supporting a large social structure consistently together to have a good time, and act “big”. I went to high school and college with the fast and cool crowd, always looking for adventure, maybe we were like the Club Gryffindor before we knew about Harry Potter. Or it might have been a middle-child syndrome, seeking to fit-in?

I would like to think of those foolish, happy days not as my last fling, despite the age and the miles. I believe that there are new beginnings in every springtime; I’d like to be happy again. Maybe we can get together and shake off the worldly blues and stride out tomorrow with the same arrogant confidence we had in our twenties, when everything was possible?

Probably not, but at least give the same swagger. I have more money and less hair. My car is not as hot, but more reliable. I’m more educated, but hopefully wiser. The songs seem more poignant now; the friendships deeper and more valuable. At least we can commiserate rather than compete—like we did back in those heady days. I don’t want to impress anyone like we used to, I’d rather show humility and kindness than competence and success. My heart yearns to express connection, admit defeat, listen with an attentive ear, be slow to speak, quick to squelch my opinion, easy to talk to, or ask for a favor.

“Grief” and its verb “grieve” come from the Latin gravis, “heavy, weighty” and its verbal form, gravare, “to burden or cause to grieve.” Grieving is like being weighed down with sorrow and a sense of loss. “Mourn” has its origins in the Old English murnan, “to mourn, to be anxious”. Jung says that mourners are fortunate because they are involved in a growth process, that “even though it cost me a great deal to regain my footing; now, I am free to become who I truly am.” (end quote) This is God’s truth, because the more I’ve cried and felt wretched and worthless, the more often I've felt on-a-passage (journey), and that I could have occasional moments of utter joy.

I think we know now how elusive confidence really is; the escalator has made some unexpected stops. Values now drawing respect are affinity, realism, collaboration, servant-leadership, empathy, kindness, faith, relationship, and humility. Money, beauty and power are not only elusive but ephemeral. Age tends to level the playing field even for those who woke up on third-base. (you know who you are).

Character is formed in the crucible, but everyone yearns for a second-chance; like the magical saying under the pyramid, on the back of a one-dollar bill: novus ordo seclorum (“a new order for the ages”). That’s what's astonishing about Easter; with Christ there is always the opportunity to brush yourself off and start again. His work on the cross gives us new life, forgiveness in exchange for our brokenness. This year I will relish in free grace, give thanks for true friends: “put that one on His tab, please…” 

I need to write off a few things, people, and losses, starting again with a clean ledger; don’t we all? Happy Easter.

©Mark H. Pillsbury

Fear

Our Constant Companion

Jesus repeatedly told his disciples and other people not to be afraid, yet humans deal with fear so often everyday that fear is almost our closest companion. As natural as breathing, apprehension can be a protective mechanism or a friendly motivator; but like food, too much makes us bulky and slow.

Like darkness invading nighttime, fear creeps into the day, ultimately blinding us from the reality of time. At the heart of each dawn is the possibility of a new day; however fear saps our joy and paralyzes our creativity. Can we be comfortable with distress like we are in our own skin, or will fear eat away at the soul, gradually corroding the mind from the inside out?

Constant Questions

We are constantly asking ourselves:

How do I look?

Do they like me?

Is she telling me the truth?

Am I late?

Did I forget about something?

Did I study enough?

Did I save enough?

How will I know what to do?

What’s going to happen to us?

Fear is even more basic than that; fear is connected to mortality, and the core question of our existence. We are afraid of other men, what will they think of us? We are afraid to die. We wonder after a certain age how much longer we have?

At the same time, fear gives us wisdom, discernment, perseverance, even intuition; in many ways it is our protective older brother but fear also takes charge and causes even the most rational to second guess.

Coping with Fear

Coping with fear is one of life’s greatest challenges. We sojourn to so many places in search for the miracle antidote. Fear is a toxic poison with deadly side-effects; it squeezes stress out of uncertainty instead of faith. Interpreting what John O’Donohue said, “stress is a perverted relationship to time,” I would add that stress is a perverted relationship to fear. Time and fear have overcome our daily routines, so that rather than being a subject of your own time, we become fear’s target and victim, lacking the control to stand up to these twin villains.

“For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God… for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power, love, and self-control.”
2 Timothy 1:6-7

Our Response by God's Grace

Instead of dismay, may I tremble at the Lord’s power to control the universe and his good intentions with my life and family? Rather than being overcome with anxiety, may I run to the biblical comfort of the Word made flesh, and rest in the admonitions of Jesus Christ? Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, but it is only the starting point. As we fall in love with the supremacy of God and the sovereignty of God, our peace grows to the point of resting in God and fearing no more the changes in our lives.

Without faith there is no meaning to life and no reason to conduct ourselves with courage in the face of fear. If death is merely a threshold onto another platform, and our hope is in a better place as we are promised in Christ, then we can dig deep into our well of faith and believe enough to push out the fear. This is done through the power of the spirit, with love and self-control.

©Mark H. Pillsbury

Razor E200S Electric Scooters For Kids | Best Electric Scooters For Kids

Razor E200S Electric Scooters For Kids | Best Electric Scooters For Kids: (see video)
'via Blog this'
Have you ever wanted something so bad that it just eats away at your sensibility? I just had one of those lopsided arguments one can only have with an 8-year old who wants to ride the hooligan neighbor’s motorized razor. The male side of species will jettison all rationality and become strong and invincible at a moment’s notice (even at the moment of sight—there it is, I want it).

When I was about that age I wanted to ride dirt bikes. So, I get it. But when I have to fix the damage that stupid wreaks, that is another story. He just walked off in a huff; is it because he reluctantly understands that his wise daddy is really correct, or could it be that he thinks I have a baboon brain, and he really really wants to speed up and down our busy street on a 12mph scooter with no helmet?