Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Heartbeat

Heartbeat

Beating in the womb,
Waiting to appear, to bloom.

Will it fulfill its dreams, like music in tune.

Faithfully, over and over it beats,
Were it syncopal you'd fall over in the heat.

As hands circle the clock,
Decades flash by, it never stops.

Keeping life's rhythm:
Rushing, resting, hurting, telling,

It echoes slowly, emotion swelling.

Who can divine the human heart?

How many beats in a day: 100,000
How many equal a life: the work begins when it starts.

Bearing up under strife, holding more blood than stress.
Volume, velocity, endurance, the machine's mystery is that it performs best:

Inflamed, impassioned, straining to the point of breaking
Full of love, filled to the top, henceforth it will come to a stop.

Pushing out one last beat, no more pumping remains.

Until then keep moving your feet,

The heartbeat keeps tune to a lonely refrain.

©Mark H. Pillsbury

*Note: I like to pin a #YouTube video to my writing and this time it is from the group: Hammock (I could hear the water, or can you hear the heartbeat?)



Monday, December 16, 2013

Why We Must Struggle

If we have not struggled
as hard as we can
at our strongest,
how will we sense
the shape of our losses
or know what sustains
us longer or name
what change costs us,
saying how strange
it is that one sector
of the self can step in
for another in trouble,
how loss activates
a latent double, how
we can feed
as upon nectar
upon need?

Excerpt from Say Uncle, copyright ©1991by Kay Ryan

(Dedicated to my thinking friends in the HPHS Class of 1983)

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Beginning with the letter-A: Awareness


Awareness

I’ve stopped at the same light for years, waiting 3-minutes for a left turn arrow. Today the driver window was down, beautiful spring smells filled the air, the clickety-clack of the old V-8 pistons mesmerized me. Even though I’d sat serenely at the same exact spot before; this time, I looked to my left to a scrawny oak tree and saw it for the first time just 6 feet away. Around the trunk was a small wooden sign the size of a 4x5 index card, affixed with a striped, taffeta ribbon and painted robin's egg blue. On the dainty sign was written one simple word in a winsome fresh pink cursive. It's the word that can change the world by melting away fear, filling us with courage and hope: LOVE.


Hiding in plain sight was what I needed to hear that day, for real; however, had I not been aware and open to this tiny signal, my life would have been totally different. Awareness means the ability to Stop, Look, and Listen to the world in which one lives. It pumps fresh air into relationships and protects us from a number of maladies, pratfalls, and dead-ends.

Recently, certain words caught my attention. They either shine like new or keep turning-up like a dirty penny. These words resonate to me, they pique my curiosity, and they made me want to incrementally write them down on a tiny Post-it® note on my desk. 

As the list grew, I saw a thread tying them together: they begin with the letter “A,” and so I was destined to blog about them; even though they all have enticingly different meanings and significance. Now, in a semi-regular series, words beginning with the A-B-Cs will be the topic for my posts. As long as I stay aware of the words as they speak to me. Thank you for reading along.

Next post: Appreciation

©Mark H. Pillsbury

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Love After Love, by Derek Walcott

Love After Love

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life. 
Derek Walcott

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Fear

Our Constant Companion

Jesus repeatedly told his disciples and other people not to be afraid, yet humans deal with fear so often everyday that fear is almost our closest companion. As natural as breathing, apprehension can be a protective mechanism or a friendly motivator; but like food, too much makes us bulky and slow.

Like darkness invading nighttime, fear creeps into the day, ultimately blinding us from the reality of time. At the heart of each dawn is the possibility of a new day; however fear saps our joy and paralyzes our creativity. Can we be comfortable with distress like we are in our own skin, or will fear eat away at the soul, gradually corroding the mind from the inside out?

Constant Questions

We are constantly asking ourselves:
How do I look?
Do they like me?
Is she telling me the truth?
Am I late?
Did I forget about something?
Did I study enough?
Did I save enough?
How will I know what to do?
What’s going to happen to us?

Fear is even more basic than that; fear is connected to mortality, and the core question of our existence. We are afraid of other men, what will they think of us? We are afraid to die. We wonder after a certain age how much longer we have?

At the same time, fear gives us wisdom, discernment, perseverance, even intuition; in many ways it is our protective older brother but fear also takes charge and causes even the most rational to second guess.

Coping with Fear

Coping with fear is one of life’s greatest challenges. We sojourn to so many places in search for the miracle antidote. Fear is a toxic poison with deadly side-effects; it squeezes stress out of uncertainty instead of faith. Interpreting what John O’Donohue said, “stress is a perverted relationship to time,” I would add that stress is a perverted relationship to fear. Time and fear have overcome our daily routines, so that rather than being a subject of your own time, we become fear’s target and victim, lacking the control to stand up to these twin villains.

“For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God… for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power, love, and self-control.”
2 Timothy 1:6-7

Our Response by God's Grace

Instead of dismay, may I tremble at the Lord’s power to control the universe and his good intentions with my life and family? Rather than being overcome with anxiety, may I run to the biblical comfort of the Word made flesh, and rest in the admonitions of Jesus Christ? Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, but it is only the starting point. As we fall in love with the supremacy of God and the sovereignty of God, our peace grows to the point of resting in God and fearing no more the changes in our lives.

Without faith there is no meaning to life and no reason to conduct ourselves with courage in the face of fear. If death is merely a threshold onto another platform, and our hope is in a better place as we are promised in Christ, then we can dig deep into our well of faith and believe enough to push out the fear. This is done through the power of the spirit, with love and self-control.

©Mark H. Pillsbury

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

In Canada, Royal Couple Comfort Cancer Patient with Only Weeks to Live - Urban Christian News

In Canada, Royal Couple Comfort Cancer Patient with Only Weeks to Live - Urban Christian News:

'via Blog this'

While the royal couple, William and Kate visited Canada in July 2011, they took the time to speak to an Ottawa man with terminal cancer, 47 year old Terry Joyce.


[From Canadian news reports:  It was a touching moment that reduced Mr. Joyce, who lives in the Bruyere Hospice, to tears. He said: “This has given me a tremendous lift. It goes to show that we have a wonderful monarchy and we really need people like this. I was told a week ago I would be meeting them and I have been looking forward to it ever since. It has been one of the best days of my life.”]

As we watched the report of this tonight on NBC, we were able to share with our children what happened to Princess Diana; but more importantly we told them that she was compassionate with people with AIDS and victims of land mine explosions, recovering in hospitals. We told them that even though she was dead, she would have been proud of her son's behavior in Canada, last July.

William took the time during an amazingly busy schedule in Canada to speak over 5 minutes personally with Terry Joyce, who later said it was "the best day of his life." Observing the video of how William asked Kate to come over to speak, and the gentle way they comforted Mr. Joyce as he sat in a wheelchair was the most remarkable part of the trip in my opinion. As much as Brits criticize their royals, it was a heartwarming show of love for a common (dying) Canadian. It was the perfect example of public relations, humility, and love of people. William and Kate seem like they were born for their duties.

We explained that everyone wants to be around royal couples, but the genuine love that comes when one human recognizes the terminal condition of someone else, and treats them with dignity and respect; transcends celebrity or fame. Whether royal or common, we explained, people love to associate with others who take notice of their plight, communicate honestly, and show a true regard for our shared lives as fellow humans.

I think Princess Diana took her sons with her to all the corners of the earth, often in dirty, uncomfortable situations, to inculcate them with a regard for all human beings whatever their circumstances. Compassionate leadership comes from an internal force of character, not a position in a royal family. Love for one's fellow man, or even "subjects," as in Canada, comes from identification of one's struggles, whether cancer, or losing a dear mother at a young age. This trip was a great start for the new royal couple, and they now have a fan in Texas. I can't wait to meet them someday!

Postscript: Terry Joyce passed away from Cancer in Ottawa, 52 days after being warmly greeted by the royal couple.

©Mark H. Pillsbury

Sunday, October 2, 2011

The Reason for God - Timothy Keller - Google Books

The Reason for God - Timothy Keller - Google Books:

'via Blog this'

(from page 168-169) Tim Keller points out what Jonathan Edwards wrote in The Nature of True Virtue, where Edwards argues how sin destroys the social fabric. He argues that human society is deeply fragmented when anything but God is our highest love:

If our highest goal in life is the good of our family, then Edwards says, we will tend to care less for other families.

If our highest goal is the good of our nation, tribe, or race, then we will tend to be racist or nationalistic.

If our ultimate goal in life is our own individual happiness, then we will put our own economic and power interests ahead of those of others.

Edwards concludes that only if God is our summum bonum, our ultimate good and life center, will we find our heart drawn out not only to people of all families, races and classes, but to the whole world in general.

It is hard to find a self-identity that doesn't lead to exclusion. The real culture war is taking place inside our own disordered hearts, wracked by inordinate desires for things that control us, that lead us to feel superior and exclude those without them, and fail to satisfy us even when we get them!

The Reason for God: belief in the age of skepticism
©Tim Keller 2008
Published by Dutton

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Follow Your Bliss (1989)

(Rstuazon/Cover/Youtube video) Follow Your Bliss (B-52's 1989)
http://youtu.be/I0Qpe2E_oSc

Her curves were so smooth; he loved the way she moaned when he pulled her. Flushing red as he held her, she was his most treasured possession. She was tight. He spent time with her every night, strumming her heart strings, following his bliss. Truth be told, he loved her more than his girlfriend. It had all the makings of a serious relationship: he kept her clean, well maintained, spent a lot of money on her, and loved to hear her talk in that slow southern drawl. More time he spent with her, the better he was. She made him feel like a player; it was a pleasure to show her off with his arm around her neck. This love reverberated, made him feel electric.

What you see here is a story of any American young man in love with a premium Fender Stratocaster red electric guitar. You can feel the musical affection by watching this young man follow his bliss with a song by the B-52’s from the rich, late 1980s. Keith Strickland arranged a funky-pop guitar lead for this song which even made its way onto the Weather Channel.

Strickland explained his songs, "I think of my instrumentals as soundscapes--the chord progressions, rhythms, harmonics and musical direction are used to evoke various sonic atmospheres or moods."
American Fender Stratocaster (candy apple red) electric guitar

©Mark H. Pillsbury

Friday, August 19, 2011

The End

Episode XII of the Storm chaser saga:

©Mark H. Pillsbury

Rick instinctively recalled feeling as he once did at Six Flags® over Texas, where as an eager young kid he rode The Rotor; an amusement park ride where victims stand against the inside of a cylinder, and once the cylinder is spinning fast enough, the floor drops out. The dark, dingy cylinder slowly achieved proper speed and with screaming and crazy looks, one could almost predict the exciting moment.

Instead, this JetRanger® fell at once with no culmination or thrills, just killer rotors snapping through intertwined steel cables of a hoisted elevator, plummeting the yellow cage terminally on its side into the water. The concussive blow was slightly relieved by the shallow tank, almost completely dry due to the longest drought in Texas history.


News photography later showed the wreckage at a deceptive angle; what appeared to be a lone helicopter resting sublimely in a Canadian glacier lake, actually was the yellow bird dumped in a dying pond of an east Texas ranch. Placid, shallow, and mossy, their wet grave was surrounded by burning wilderness and a flat clearing designated LZ (Landing Zone b.) Bravo.

The jarring crash hit Rick so hard it knocked him unconscious momentarily, but he revived quickly to see two of Jessica. The double and blurred vision didn’t keep him from finding her across the passenger compartment, blood oozing from her scalp. Jessica looked still and ashen, he thought, as he sloshed through the warm pond water to pull her up to him.

The quiet was deafening, his shock complete, the devastation total; but Rick quietly cradled Jessica’s limp body in the half-submerged compartment of the downed rescue helicopter.

“I am so sorry Jess.” Rick, almost sobbing, softly, lovingly spoke to her bloody face, gently patting her head. Despite the carnage, this was a tender moment; however she was either unconscious or dead. Rick began to conceptualize the suddenness of their fall was due to hitting the wires overhead. At the same time, it was painfully clear the momentum of his love had also crashed. Far-off dreams of weddings, suburban bliss, even children, just as surely were destroyed.

With so much unfinished business, regret, and terror processing through his shaken psyche, his natural urge was for action; however, he sat there listlessly in the murky green water comforting his lovely partner Jessica, “There, there, babe—it will be OK now; you're here in my arms,” he paused, holding back the flood of emotions, “I gotchu safe babe, you’re gonna be fine—just take it easy now, Jess.”

Time stopped for the storm chasers, and it was still like a sanctuary.

“God, take her from me now, please, I love her so much… Keep her safe for me, I love her so…” Rick could barely whisper, his eyes clenched shut. Grief robbed him of his voice.

He looked at her now in a daze, smiling sorrowfully, “Jessica girl, you get to ride the wind now, sail above the big storms and keep watch over me—will you watch over me, Jess?!” Rivulets of tears watered his pain.

Finally, Rick broke down and heaved with silent sobs, holding her closely to his heart, muttering, “There, there, Jess… it’s OK now...” But for Rick it was over. She was gone.

©Mark H. Pillsbury (Aug. 19, 2011)

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Double feature: episodes 8 & 9 of the storm chaser saga...

Fiction ripped from the headlines... ©Mark H. Pillsbury

"Texas Remains a Tinderbox": http://goo.gl/R0psZ

"Wildfires cause Fatigue": http://goo.gl/hhBUi

"More Firefighters arriving by Air": http://goo.gl/7ZSqI

"Obama grants Texas appeal for Wildfire Disaster Declaration": http://goo.gl/Fzz9B

Part VIII: The Maze

Swiftly moving through the dense green maze towards another opening, Clay trudged farther in front of the storm chasers, to the point they eventually lost the link to his lead. They were not holding onto each other hand-to-fin like in Devil’s Throat, but at least there was visual connection. Smoke obstructed their peripheral vision, the searing heat and impenetrable forest squeezed the life out of them, and ultimately Clay went left and they turned right, leaving them alone in a clearing. Abruptly, they turned another chapter.

“Claaaaaay-tooarrrr!” Rick yelled forcefully more than once hearing no reply.

“God, where did he go?!” he asked Jessica.

Rick held Jessica’s hand while fleeing but somehow lost contact with his cousin for just an instant, the next thing he knew they were separated. They were devastated for losing their escort; Clay’s strength had been a lifeline.

“Should we stay here to see if he circles back?” Jessica asked.

Rick felt exhausted and confused, “Jess, let me think for a second; I don’t know what to do right now.”

“We need to find Clay, let’s go back to the spot when we split,” Rick said. Jessica did not want to return to the forest, but she understood Rick’s concern.

Retracing their steps seemed harder this time, Rick was not sure where they diverged, but he kept yelling Clay’s name, hoping for some response. Disoriented, they were lost inside of an isolated portion of Liberty County surrounded by wildfire without any viable tools to alleviate their dilemma. Circling broadly for almost an hour, becoming more depleted mentally and physically, their diving school training helped a little, but a creeping, debilitating, panicked vertigo overcame their efforts to stay in control.

“I have to stop, Rick!” Jessica pleaded. “This is insane. We aren’t going in the right direction.”

“You stay here I have to go find Clay.” Rick vowed, wild-eyed, weary.

“Rick, stay with me, puhlease!?” Jessica was in tears, insisting as she sat on a log. “Are you going crazy because of smoke inhalation?” “We cannot split up, Rick. All three of us will die alone!”


Rick and Jessica sat on a log, bereft of a response to this incredible challenge. Their relationship frayed in this crucible, fatigue reducing them to cornered beasts rather than reasonable young adults, their adrenaline-rich supply of courage used-up. For a couple that had faced huge storms, man’s oldest friend/foe brought them to their knees.

“I love you so much, Jess, I could never leave you.” “Whatever happens here, I want you to know that I love you.” Rick was crying or the smoke made his eyes water, it did not matter; Jessica buried her head in Rick’s arms and they sat defeated, but together.

Ironically, Rick wondered how all the twisters in tornado alley had not brought them closer, but now this wildfire forced them to confront their mortality, priorities, and love’s bond. All he wanted was to take care of Jessica and keep them safe. For once he yearned to live in peace as a family. As he enjoyed their close touch a fierce hot wind blew through the forest, and they stood-up immediately knowing another escape route was closed.

To their flank, they supposed from the west, all their senses told them the wall of fire was descending on them so instinctively they set off in the opposite direction. They were storm-chasers after all, and when the storm turns your direction the first reaction is to be nimble.

Going through the clearing and one more dense section of forest did not lead them to another road or passage to safety; instead they found themselves in another smoky chamber, where Jessica started to falter due to breathing too much smoke. They stopped again.

“I feel like I’m choking Rick, and the smoke is making me light-headed.” “Let’s stop now,” she said firmly.

“OK, babe, but we have to try to find a farm road again,” Rick responded, “maybe we can catch an emergency vehicle coming by, they have to be out here fighting this fire!”

Rick lost track of time, barely thinking about Clay anymore. He worried that he would have to carry Jessica out of the woods. He was exhausted, but he would do anything at this point to save her.

“Jess, let me carry you if you can’t go,” She was woozy and sitting limply against a tree. Rick gathered her up in loving embrace, going further toward what he hoped was a roadway. He could feel Jessica lose consciousness intermittently, but he continued.

In the distance they heard a faint, whirring siren and quickly moved that direction, finally reaching a narrow thoroughfare. Rick and Jessica fell into the middle of the road, not “planking,” but on one knee gasping for air. Overjoyed to see an emergency vehicle racing their direction, Jessica collapsed in Rick’s arms again. Laughing and crying together, it seemed that even though the raging fire and thick smoke were imminent, they again dodged nature’s onslaught.

“Hop in the back, we’re going to meet a supply helicopter near here!” The county fire truck was a brilliant red, with a bed full of equipment and two sooty, charred heroes in the front of the cab. Rick and Jessica did not take time to ask questions or explain, but immediately Rick thought of his cousin Clay.

“God, Jess, what’s gonna happen to Clay in that forest? It’s like hell in there!” Rick was concerned.

Jessica, too stunned to answer, could barely breathe; her normal respiration reduced to a mere wheeze. She was elated to be through devil’s throat once again.

Part IX: The Rescue

photo credit: Washington DNR

The stretch of burning trees broke for the first time in miles. As the scarlet fire vehicle pulled up, men in bright orange suits tried to ensure a gargantuan transformer didn’t burst into flames like the rest of the forest. The firefighter spoke into his walkie-talkie in order to gain clearance into the landing area. More uniformed helpers rushed over with water and aid for the two exhausted storm chasers.

The yellow rescue helicopter descended, chopping the smoky air, signalman waving wildly at the targeted destination well clear of the transformer wires.

“Hold on just a little longer, Jess. Copter’s landing and we will get outta here soon,” Rick urged, trying to motivate Jessica as the supplies were transferred off of the yellow bird. Fighting wildfires took manpower, and supplies constantly replenished by aerial support.

image: North Carolina

Chief of the Operations came up hurriedly, ordering them onboard. Rick thought it was odd that he didn’t ask them what they were doing in the middle of the smoldering Liberty County forest; nevertheless he grabbed the man at the door of the copter and told him they couldn’t leave yet. “You don’t understand Sir, but my cousin’s in the middle of that fire! You gotta do something about—” Rick was cut off by the foreman.

“Son, you either get on that helicopter now or wait for the next one, and I can’t guarantee when that will be, I will notify my men in the field to be on the lookout for your relative. Give me a description.” This put Rick in the position of having to choose between evacuating Jessica and staying to search for his cousin. He knew what he had to do.

To be continued in episode ten…

©Mark H. Pillsbury & ©Eliza C. Pillsbury (composed as a work of fiction 23 July 2011)

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Charlie Rose - An hour with David McCullough

Charlie Rose - An hour with David McCullough

Author David McCullough spent a career writing on Presidents and history for 45 years, winning the Presidential Medal of Freedom (see image above), the nation's highest civilian honor.

In his new book about Paris in the 1830-1900 he chronicles the vast influence of the returning Americans who grew, learned, and flourished in Paris. The unique, massive, early French influence on the young USA, such as support during our revolutionary war, cities, monuments (SOL), land (LA purchase), nomenclature, as well as society, arts, sciences, writing, etc. all have great French influence, he notes.

McCullough and CR discuss the cause/effect, action/reaction, give/take of human nature that is studied in the field of History. He stated Truman, John Adams, Washington, Lincoln, FDR, and Theodore Roosevelt are the greatest presidents, but that all the "great" presidents were readers of history.

He states at 12:34 the essential nature of the study of history to any position of leadership, and that a liberal arts education is the under-pinning of any further profession because of the depth it adds to the student in later years (11:48)

Later in the program he again stresses how important reading, writing, and the liberal arts are to education, which at 42:20 he claims is the basis of who we are as a nation (centering the discussion on Education at 43:30). This is an inspiration for any educator!

Mr. McCullough reminds listeners that the "Arab Spring" and other democratic uprisings in recent months show that the peoples of the world want what we take for granted here: the opportunity to live under a Bill of Rights, individual freedoms guaranteed by laws, and not men, and the ability to learn and develop our own strengths. This is the country's great exceptional trait. He adds that much of this is provided by Teachers' noble work (his son is a teacher 49:28).

Remarkable is the story of one of his life's inspirations: John Hubbard, a California history teacher who taught David to remember what happened, to whom and why, not so much dates and facts as was taught traditionally in high school. This was a breath of educational fresh air to McCullough's young mind. (see 48:17)

One of the best interviews I have ever watched; conducted by Charlie Rose Show on June 9, 2011. David McCullough spent 52 min. recounting his great life in the study of history, he is a dear jewel of our country worthy of great respect.

tiny url for interview:
http://tiny.cc/oqeyw