9-11 Tribute After 13 years: R is for Resiliency

R is for: Resiliency

“The good folks mostly win, courage usually triumphs over fear, the family dog hardly ever contracts rabies; these are the things I knew at twenty-five, and things I still know now, at the age of 25 X 2. But I know something else as well: there’s a place in most of us where the rain is pretty much constant, the shadows are always long, and the woods are full of monsters. It is good to have a voice in which the terrors of such a place can be articulated and its geography partially described, without denying the sunshine and clarity that fill so much of our ordinary lives.” –Stephen King (April 16, 1996)

 

If I’ve learned anything through trials and travails, it’s that even though life seems short, ephemeral, and progress only seen dimly as through a dark opaque window; there is always the power to rise to the moment, and summon the courage to change. This is my voice articulating a vision of the geography of the dark places we face; and after so many years--maybe even some of those affected by 9/11 have navigated out of the dark forest.

Freedom Tower, Manhattan

 

Even when one seems too old, tired, or uncomprehending of how to alter their course; by taking deliberate steps down another path, I’ve seen durable people transform themselves and their situations remarkably. "In a real dark night of the soul it is always three o'clock in the morning," said F. Scott Fitzgerald; however, let me assure you, there is always a way out, the morning after.

Sometimes it means realistically dropping one dream, now cumbersome baggage; developing another set of goals. Other than developing a love to read and learn; this might be one of the keys to unlocking life’s complexities, and is certainly something I want to bestow upon my children: resiliency.

Those fortunate to have their wits and health, living in this great land of opportunity, and with God’s sovereign blessing, can get up one morning and resolve to change; indeed, one’s path is never set in granite. Killing inertia is itself an early skirmish in this brutal, continual, wearisome war.

Standing with your feet firmly planted allows one to gaze out and ponder a new course; even though the road looks twisted and crooked through the brambles and brush of rural forest. Sometimes it seems too overgrown and dark to find your way. Don’t give up! Keep looking for the light, and if necessary, hack your own way out till you find the dirt road for which you yearn.

Once the new path is found and begun by faith; the energy to meet the new challenges will appear; although, this river of energy fueling a fresh endeavor is not always apparent. Sometimes you tap into its power like a hydro-electric plant, or otherwise jump in, just riding with the flow. This process isn't instantaneous. It requires patience, strength, and resiliency founded in a higher power, or should I say “outside yourself?”

Others may call the new path: too risky, or pronounce early failure. Valuable are those friends who support and encourage: every single, solitary one is an angel sent from above. Thank them when you get back on your feet. And don’t be too sure who the angels are; some of those closest to you will disappear at the moment you need them most.

All your days have prepared you for the battle now raging; take the step forward in faith and fire the first shot.

“Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next, to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish. We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.” Ephesians 2 (The Message--Copyright © Eugene H. Peterson)

“There dwells upon this earth a mysterious Being, whose office is to renew the fallen and restore the wandering… His chosen residence is a broken heart and a contrite heart.” –Charles Spurgeon

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©Mark H. Pillsbury (2014)

 

Part III: tribute to lost fire-fighters (fictional 9-11 story)

Part III of the 9-11 Saga: Tribute to Fallen Fire Fighters

Mike and his dad returned to the apartment and flipped on the television, instantly seeing the horror of what the planes had done: two distinct columns of smoke rising into the sky, and floors burning in the middle of the Twin Towers.

Presumably on duty, his fire-fighter brother Patrick did not answer his cell phone, but Mike was soon paged to return to his unit immediately. Every first-responder mobilized in those early hours of the 9-11 tragedy, many commuted into the city as thousands fled.

He didn’t like leaving his aged father Jim O'Keafe alone in front of the television, worrying about his beloved son in the city and his other one heading toward the call of duty; but during the drive into Manhattan, Michael O’Keafe continued to ponder the nature of duty, family, and his upbringing. Having spent the morning on the lake contemplatively, it wasn’t difficult to consider the strange reality that he was probably closer to his work colleagues through their bond of a shared mission, than he was to his own family? He knew it in his gut.

Already anguished with interior conflict, the snarled traffic only increased the anxiety. During these thoughts, out of love and concern for his brother Patrick O’Keafe; he wondered what makes one human being head into an inferno, despite the danger, in order to save another, even one whom he hasn’t met?

His head throbbed uncontrollably, and with visceral churning Mike felt the natural effects of both internal and external chaos. He sensed the demise in the gloomy sky in front of him, light obliterated. The smoke's murkiness thickened into nightfall the closer he drove into Manhattan.

He pictured Patrick leading his company into a World Trade Center Tower in order to battle the asymmetrical threat of a raging fire. How does a single individual fight something as large as a commercial structure engulfed in flames?

Again he thought about art school, painting, and living by the Pacific instead of Manhattan, as well as the split-second judgment required to avoid fire-fighting catastrophe. Two different worlds balanced in his subconscious.

If  “purpose” is the eternal condition for success, how many fire-fighters actually feel the calling or purpose of their work, especially as they venture headlong into danger, even the kind of which might jeopardize their lives?

©Mark H. Pillsbury

[Part One posted September 10, 2011, see previous posts...]

Part II: Tribute to the lost firefighters of 9/11, continued... second installment:

[Author's note: the first installment of my fictional 9/11 series was written 18-months ago, but listening to Brene Brown, and a trip to New York prompted more writing about the family O'Keafe. Although the tragic events of September 11th are painfully true, everything written below is fiction]

[any connection to deceased is coincidental and not meant as a truthful reference]

Escape

Out on the lake, in this pristine state park, Michael cleared his head. Fishing pulled his dad out of his comfort zone, onto a battlefield without sure footing. Whether the quiet nature of the sport, or the serene isolation of this oasis, Michael’s excursion into the suburbs today reminded him of Tim McGraw’s song: Live like he was dyin’ “All of a sudden goin’ fishin’ wasn’t such an imposition.” Michael could see things as they are (or were) meant to be seen on this clear September morning. (see previous post, September 10, 2011; a bad day fishing...) http://rostranovum.blogspot.com/2011/09/my-9-11-tribute-in-fiction.html

Unfortunately today he confronted the rawness and ugliness his father showed him over the years. A constant, intimidating flow of his upbringing’s lifeblood, gave course to fear and spread the worst contagion a parent bestows upon his children, that which is called shame. Today Mike felt strong enough to “feel,” down to the core, being open to joy and pain; most importantly owning all the shame poured over him through the years.

Shame wasn't exactly overt in his home, but it represented a strong O’Keafe family value. It wreaks more damage than a viral outbreak, because shame says to an immature child that you are not loved or lovable unless you meet often sensible, yet arbitrary expectations of the parent. Shame makes a kid feel small. Its potent sting paralyzes creativity and its anguishing power overcomes even the strongest-willed child.

Shame stunts in a child the ability to learn self-compassion because it is graceless, watchful, and critical; outweighing any compliment with a deluge of correction. Michael realized that Jim O’Keafe’s standards were held up, idolized, and projected upon his children; and to those who could not reach them; well, they were de-valued and unfit. As Michael engaged in this session alone with his thoughts on the lake, the engine off and no wind to drift the boat; his mind wandered off while watching the end of his line for tugs:

“Why didn't I study art in college?" he thought, "At least, then dropping-out would've been for the honor of art and not because I skipped too many classes, failed too many tests?” The pursuit of art slipped away from Michael once enrolled in the Fireman Academy, even though his dream of painting with oil and watercolor lived vividly in his subconscious. During unhurried, deliberate days filled with slow creativity, not rushed by pursuit of disaster; Michael expressed himself carefully, with great fulfillment. Did he become a fireman for the same reason his brother did, because their father willed them into the inferno?

Grieving his dreams became more important than catching fish today.

Existing in warm California, not New York; his fantasy artist life reflected a contemplative environment reduced to the priority of communicating the struggle and strength of life on canvas or paper. He taught art at a Junior College to make a living, but spent most of his hours pensive, smocked, and painting. Despite his love for impressionists his painting conveyed a sharp realism. He visualized and illustrated “real things” with an eye for natural beauty.

“I love to include enough detail so that the inquisitive mind must take apart the pieces of the scene like a puzzle,” Michael told his brother Patrick sometimes when they would talk during one of his exhibits, “The natural world is so complex, even without humans in my paintings; sometimes it’s beyond the viewer’s skill to unravel it?” Michael continued passionately, “I relish that difficulty, that tension; it is a big part of my fascination with art’s mystery.”

Jung said, “Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent;” as I sit here today, I believe my family denied me the freedom to describe, analyze, and interpret art, or life, for that matter. I did what I was told, mostly; even to the point of enrolling in the Fireman Academy; however, art, or the pursuit of art, saved me.

Michael believes his art is a creek or stream off of a mighty tributary called vulnerability. Art’s headwaters are from an energetic source which generates creative channels of light and life, but vulnerability is the courage to engage in all of life, whether good or bad, fortunate or dreadful. Today, on this lake, he is dealing with his upbringing, relationships with father and brother, and even the unfulfilled dreams of a thirty-something fireman from New York City. He sits serenely, the water laps against the boat.

Suddenly, Michael snapped out of his dream when a silver American Airlines jumbo-jet roared overhead flying low along the Hudson River, very close to Harriman Park. So close to the ground he saw the red glow of the turbo-jet engines; this airliner seemed to be racing too fast for a typical coast-to-coast journey of a jumbo-jet coming out of JFK. It pointed southward toward the city, rather than rising ascendant to a normal cruising altitude. His gut wrenched while his mind puzzled; Michael immediately thought of his brother Patrick J. O’Keafe, strangely absent from this fishing trip and now at the center of Michael’s consciousness watching the silver bullet speed toward Manhattan. (to be continued...)

©Mark H. Pillsbury

Checking in with the Millennial Generation

What is up with the Millennial Generation?

50 million Millennials span the ages of 18-30 (they were born after 1982). They are more tech-savvy than any other group and they voted for Barak Obama at a 2-to-1 ratio of other generations. 


They are self-confident but unlike baby-boomers, not morally superior. They may be better educated because of the stiff headwinds they faced during the Great Recession. Many Millennial youngsters are still in school.

Millennials diminished sense of economic opportunity remains focused almost entirely on the job market. About two-thirds of Millennials are employed but only slightly half of those are working full-time. Almost two-thirds of Millennials without a job are looking for work.

For those in the workplace these responses* were given about:

When recruiting Millennial generation:

·  93% of Millennials want a job that works with their lifestyle.

·  93% of Millennials want a job where they can be themselves.

·  88% of Millennials want their coworkers to be their friends.

·  89% of Millennials want their workplace to be social and fun.

·  79% of Millennials think they should be allowed to wear jeans to work at least sometimes.

·  81% of Millennials think they should be allowed to make their own hours at work.

·  92% of Millennials think their company is lucky to have them as an employee.

·  Half of Millennials would rather have no job than have a job they hate

When managing Millennial generation:

·  The three most critical aspects of their work are work/life balance, loving what they do, and having good benefits. Having a good salary and vacation time are important, but not their key drivers.

·  76% of Millennials think their boss could learn a lot from them.

·  8 out of 10 Millennials want regular feedback from their boss.

·  8 out of 10 Millennials think they deserve to be recognized more for their work.

·  Over half of Millennials want feedback at least once a week or more.

·  Three-fourths of Millennials want to work for themselves one day.

·  Three-fourths of Millennials would like to have a mentor.

·  61% of Millennials say they need specific directions from their boss to do their best work.
(research released by Nick Shore, Sr. Vice president, strategic insights and research at MTV network)

How to appreciate a Millennial:

Leaders, listen up. Instead of giving your team members the usual kudos for their good work, try something more personal and meaningful:  walk them into their office, close the door, and tell them how important their contribution is to the organization. Hand-written notes are back. Get out your pen and start writing!

How this new trend in the workforce is a back to basics, humane approach:

The results seem to show a smoothing out of the workforce into a comfortable environment and a perpetual feedback loop. Dress can be casual, and management hierarchy is flatter. Despite the grim economic environment Millennials are still confident about their future and actually want to be treated as individuals, not cogs in a machine. They have the self-respect to be bold enough to ask for humane treatment; Millennials are realistic about their situation and their future.

These are often 30-something emerging managers who will be the talent and bedrock of many corporate teams. Will they care about ethics and reasonableness enough to not lie, cheat, and steal from shareholders and the stock markets? Are they cocky and petulant, or principled and wise? Only time will tell.

Millennial employees want to be treated as we always should have treated co-workers, with respect, with the desire to have their input and foster their creativity. They will inevitably bring to our workplaces a more progressive and civil authority now, and as they grow into the next generation of leaders. They have seen the turn of a millennium (thus the generation's name), 9/11 attacks, the worst economic downturn in decades, and a long overseas war for which many volunteered.

This is a force to be reckoned with. The other generations should pay attention. ##


(*information based on a survey of Millennials by MTV, otherwise, opinions are solely my own)

The Age of Dissonance

©Mark H. Pillsbury

Theo van Doesburg Dissonances (1925 image on canvas)


Assonance—vowels rhyming to have a semblance of the same sound, often used to represent partial agreement or correspondence.
(“He used the words penitent and reticence in the same sentence”)

Consonance—agreement of certain stressed syllables, often used to represent harmony or agreement among components.
(“It was a stroke of luck”)

Dissonance—musically inharmonious, or incompatible. Also represents disagreement, or a harsh variant.
(You think you are coming across one way but people see you in a totally different way)

Have you heard someone say on the street: “Doyouknowhadahmsayin?” or “Man, I know where you’re comin from.” Were these responses genuine or jargon? Continually bombarded with the ebb and flow of words, ideas, propositions, even sales pitches; how much sounds inharmonious or incompatible?

Unfortunately, even with various means of communication, so many channels to hear; are we really being heard? Dissonance keeps you from reaching people, and it keeps other people from reaching you.

I believe we live in the Age of Dissonance.

50% of all adults currently plug into social media, cell phone use increases yearly, and nearly 3 billion text messages are sent every day by US wireless companies. Communication creates the links necessary for relationships to flourish, nevertheless despite numerous channels and devices, dissonance regularly occurs.

"Why is modern communication so difficult?" says the typical adult.

On a closer level, humans strive constantly to know and be known. Incessantly communicating but failing to listen, communication varies in complexity and importance, the connections radiate out like a pebble striking a pond: close, constant, and outward into regular remote circles. But do we strike meaning with each chord? Is there agreement in the notes? The day flows like a musical score, the harmony naturally sought is played by the orchestra of our relationships; unfortunately we play from our own song sheet, not on the same page of our connections.

The three C’s of Dissonance

Cognitive dissonance—an emotional state wherein two simultaneously held attitudes or “cognitions” are inconsistent, or when there is a conflict between belief and overt behavior. Knowingly holding two competing ideals at the same time is like using a cell phone while driving, knowing that drivers using cell phones are four times as likely to get into crashes serious enough to injure themselves. The tobacco addict thinks, "Well, if smoking doesn’t kill me, something else will,” or, “Not everyone who smokes gets lung cancer."

Drive down any busy highway and look around at drivers; tell me that inattention due to cell phone use is not a major epidemic; or ask yourself if you “text” (or smoke) while driving when you have school-age children in the car?!

Cultural dissonance—sometimes unavoidable, nevertheless usually prevents streamlined communications in global commerce, as different peoples, customs, and languages struggle to work together with mutual understanding.

Corporate dissonance—often through a “roll-out” or a special project, the corporation thinks its employees have the same passion or vision as management; but instead, employees see the presentation as not consistent or unethical and do nothing to assist execution of the plan. Known as “dead-on-arrival.”

Opinion polls show that American business people are losing their faith in their country even as ordinary Americans are losing their faith in business (Economist 08/13/2011 p. 66).

An example of corporate dissonance is government recognition and celebration of the tenth (10th) anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks in New York and Washington DC. Passions caused by the tragedy have faded with ten years; however many patriotic citizens feel great pride in what we defend, the homeland security, and the safety engendered by fighting the war on terror.

The message from leadership is not harmonious with the grass-roots perception of the event, indeed the President is rejecting the resonant, visceral reaction to the tenth anniversary of 9/11 by attempting to craft his own rhetorical response.

The White House said, “A chief goal of our communications is to present a positive, forward-looking narrative,” despite the historical perspective of seeing 9/11 as a uniquely terrible event in time recognized ten years later and symbolized by a numeric calendar day.

Another government communications adviser said, “We need to make sure we’re speaking to a very broad set of audiences who will be affected by the anniversary.” Domestic 9/11 ceremonies will honor Americans killed in the Sept. 11 attacks but also “all victims of terrorism, including those who had been targeted by Al Qaeda and other groups around the globe.”

The government is communicating about 9/11 in a way which accentuates the broad idea of global peace and the wider struggle of all peoples against terrorists. By attempting to put a different spin on the event, the White House hopes to set the tone of the narrative as more global than personal, more positive than macabre.

This is incompatible with a precise focus on 9/11, which was one of the most violent and despicable days in United States history. In my opinion, this message is difficult to harmonize with the acts of the 19 al-Qaeda hijackers, and even a positive, forward-looking narrative set out by the President rings dissonant to the reflective, thoughtful citizens who lived through that terrible day.

©Mark H. Pillsbury