Dirty Laundry (1982) Don Henley Predicts the Future

Dirty Laundry: Don Henley Predicts the Future on 1982 Solo Album, "I can't stand still" (released 10/12/1982)

(Houston) I've written about Texas artists before, but one of the largest stars in Texas music history is Don Henley, who wrote a prescient piece for his first solo album in 1982 about TV news: "Dirty Laundry," appearing on I Can't Stand Still. Henley comments on the nature of the news "infotainment" industry before that was even a word; before the internet, reality TV, or social media.

Similar themes run through much of his work with the Eagles, or on his own, as an activist singer/songwriter: loss of innocence, the cost of being in the public spotlight, naivete of victims' perspectives, perils of fame, exploitation of tragedy, illusion versus reality, in-authenticity, corruption in news media, and the reality of #FakeNews (before much of this was part of today's lexicon).

When did Don Henley first read The Catcher in the Rye? 

Was it in 1961 or 1962 at the height of Kennedy’s "Camelot" presidency, during his first or second year of high school? How did young Don Henley relate to young Holden Caufield?

Did Don Henley learn to drown out the cacophony of oppressive “fakery” permeating the world, through music? 

Did music give him the bridge to his own authentic voice, like J. D. Salinger’s writing? 

Ten years after the book was written, Salinger appeared on the cover of TIME magazine in 1961, and Don Henley may have found his calling as a musician when he read in The Catcher in the Rye (quote): “a woman's body is like a violin and all; and that it takes a terrific musician to play it right.” The ladies’ man begins his journey in a band (in North Texas) with Salinger’s words deeply embedded in his mind.

In 1982, at 35-years old, Don Henley still felt like he was living in a time of great mistrust, a feeling that one-nation undivided, was rapidly disappearing. Henley saw even then, the prevalence of lawyers, and the everyone-for-themselves ethos of modern culture, where men and women sue each other regularly, "it's a very insidious thing," Henley said.

"Writing songs is therapeutic for me. It's a way of trying to make sense of a world that often doesn't make sense at all," he said. "It keeps me off the shrink's couch, keeps me from climbing a tower with a rifle (a reference to the UT/Austin mass-shooting of 1966, when Henley was 19?)." "Creating is a spiritual act, as well as a kind of meditation." (end quote)

Written for a LP which contained an interesting juxtaposition of dark themes; the song was developed as part of his first solo album in an atmosphere of excitement and productivity. Although Henley always thought there's room for social commentary in music, one of the basic principles of folk, singer/songwriters; "you can't hit people over the head with it." Henley believes, "you can comment, but you can't preach." 

In "Dirty Laundry," humor and satire protect against heavy, or preachy themes; but producing a song completely applicable as social commentary 35-years after it was written, is truly remarkable.  Like The Catcher in the Rye, I realize it sounds a little Holden Caulfield-esque calling everyone in TV news a phony, but Henley really did think everyone in that business was a phony.

"I got divorced and my personal life fell apart. I don't know if you feel this way, but when you're depressed, it's really easy to see everything that is fake about other people and life, and I just started seeing all that. How phony celebrity was, how phony everything is. You channel your inner-Holden Caulfield, you know?"--Ethan Hawke (writer, producer, director, actor)

I've taken the liberty to update the lyrics to apply to 2017 times, but the spirit of the song has been left unedited. I hope you like my adaption, and the song is common enough to your memory that you will sing along! 

Dirty Laundry, with a wink to Don Henley:

Does anyone even watch, the eve-ning news?

Viewers gave their trust, only to be abused.

Media love it when you lose,

They love dirty laundry.

How did Henley know that we’d wind up here?

Cable anchors just have to look good, they don’t have to be clear.

Come and whisper in my ear,

Give us dirty laundry.

Kick’em when they’re up

Kick’em when they’re down

Kick’em where it hurts

Kick’em all around.

There are bubble-headed Fox blonds

With aug-mented boobs,

Telling you about Russia, but it’s really #FakeNews,

It’s interesting when people lose

Give us dirty laundry.

Can we film overhead, we’ll use a drone?

The whole neighborhood’s under water.

They’re million-dol-lar homes!

Selling ‘ya Hurricane hysteria,

We need dirty laundry.

You don’t really want to know what’s going-on.

With social media bending, we’re too far gone,

Discord makes you deaf to tone,

Eat your dirty laundry.

Kick’em when they’re up

Kick’em when they’re down,

Kick’em in the pants,

Kick’em all around!

Dirty celebrity secrets,

Reality TV lives.

Our nosy iPhone cameras are every-body’s eyes,

We’d love to cut you down to size,

We need dirty laundry.

One-sided politics, is it real, or #FakeNews?

When it’s said and done, networks push their own views.

We all know that crap is king, but how did Hil-ary lose?

Give us dirty laundry…

Kick’em when they’re up,

Kick’em when they’re down.

Kick’em on cable news,

Kick’em all around.

Kick’em when they’re up,

Kick’em when they’re down.

Kick'em in the tush,

Kick’em out of town.

adapted from copyrighted material ©WarnerBros. (1982)